What's In A Name

One day quite a while back I walked into the Lobster Shanty in Salem. I had become somewhat of a regular there. Most days after work you could find me there drinking a couple of beers or having some dinner. The Shanty was a different place back then. It and Salem have changed a lot. Some of the changes are for the better and some are not.

This particular fall day I discovered that they had $2 squares for Monday Night Football. Bobby Gauthier, the bartender ( he now works at the 99 on Bridge St.) gave me the grid. Looking at it closely I noticed that there were already a few Bill's of various types with their names in the boxes.

There was Bill Kelly, who owned the place, Bill Stone, an everyday scotch and milk (yes that's right scotch and MILK) drinker, Cowboy Bill, a wandering Kentucky rebel and of course the well known Billy-Willy. I couldn't just put "Bil" in the square. That would be boring. Thinking quickly I wrote "BaldBil" in three squares and gave Bobby my $6. He took the money, looked at the grid and laughed.

"BaldBil! You're stuck with it now!"

And I was. Little did I know at the time that it would become my name over all others.

As a kid I had always wanted a nickname. I grew up with a kid called Chunky, one we called Dooba and another one known as Hacky. No nickname ever stuck to me though. One kid used to call me "Bade" for some reason, but it never caught on. My red hair inspired no colorful monickers despite my father being known as the 'Red Dog" and my Uncle being referred to as "Little Red". I was Billy and that was that.

The Air Force provided me with my first nickname. In the barracks in Japan one night while watching some garbage on the AFN (Armed Forces Network) the boys noticed an actor by the name of Lance Legault. He was always a bad guy and often times would end up being beat up or killed. With a deep baritone and hawkish looks he fit the bad guy roles well. At that very moment I became known as "Lance." It did not end there.

We were Security Policemen. After a few incidents both on and off duty some of the guys began to call me "Gonads." That was a reference to a couple of different times where I did some crazy things. I was also told it was a result of a someone commenting on something a little more personal. There is not a lot of privacy in the military. The two names soon morphed in "Lance LeGonads." To this day if hear "Hey Lance" or Hi ya Gonads" I will know it is someone I knew in Japan speaking to me.

The Army was a different story. I was older, an NCO and was pretty much all business. Any names I may have acquired were uttered out of earshot.

Spending seven years in Lawrence, MA proved to a unique and life altering experience. As I look back it is a wonder that I wasn't killed. There were a few moments where it could have and perhaps should have happened. I worked as a machinist and on the side as a bouncer at some local clubs. Did the door and floor at the Claddagh for a while and also at the Loft and Ladle. They were both on Essex St at the time. I also worked at two different Spanish clubs. The Associacion Civica and Los Tartoros. Both places were a mix of Dominicans and Puerto Ricans. These guys called me "Toro Pequeno" for Little Bull and also "El Calvo". The latter is what inspired my using BaldBil on the Shanty football squares.

What's in a name? Whatever you want I suppose.